Great communication skills through good listening behavior and habits

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Cultivating Good Listening Habits

Having good listening skills is an important asset, not only for our children, but also for us as parents. Be it at work with our colleagues or around friends and loved ones, being a attentive listener is a much appreciated quality by everyone. This should not come as a surprise as there are so many distractions nowadays ... mobile phones, emails, televisions, the internet and electronic games etc. It is becoming harder to get uninterrupted attention when you need to talk to someone or even when trying to listen to someone.

For our children, being an effective listener becomes more and more important as they progress through school. Right from the start, being able to pay attention in class and to focus on listening to the teacher can mean the difference between doing well and falling behind in their school works. As they progress up the level in school, the inability to concentrate and listen to their lecturers may mean losing some important points that can help in their grades.

While it is becoming more and more difficult to be a good listener due to the amount of distractions around us these days, all the more, the value of being skilful in listening can be appreciated.

Fortunately, there are plenty of opportunities for learning to improve in listening skills. With practice, our ability to be sharp in this valuable skill will definitely improve.

The following suggestions can help you and your children to start improving in this area.

Before we begin, we need to understand the saying.... "You can't give what you do not have." The best way to teach your children the habit of a good listener is to be a good role model to them. Children learn most from those closest to them. Being their parents, we are in the best position to demonstrate this important skill to them. Children are fast learners and very observant. When you apply these techniques of a good listener in your daily activities with them, they will pick it up quite naturally.

To model good listening skills, first, we need to build up our communication skills through good listening behavior and habits. Be of the attitude of an active learner whenever you engaged in a conversation. Remind yourself that you are there to learn something about the person in conversation with you. Seek to understand the full meaning of what is being said. Pick out highlights of the conversation and then ask relevant questions. Put the other party's feelings first and not try to focus on your own needs.

Be genuine and give your full attention. Nod when you understand what is being said and ask to clarify when you do not. If your main interest is in what the person is trying saying, you may be surprise how much more he or she will share with you.

Another important point to show full attention is to block out any interferences or distractions during a conversation. For example, you may have to switch off your mobile phone or set it to silent mode. If that is not possible, at least lower the ring tone to a lower volume as it can be a rude interruption in the middle of a conversation. If you really need to answer a call in the middle of a conversation, excuse yourself and get on the line to let the caller know that you are in the middle of an important conversation, and that you will return the call as soon as you can. Although interrupted, your conversation partner will appreciate that you value what is being discussed.

Avoid talking too much and be patient during a conversation. Many of us think that we know what the other party is saying before it is being said. We jump in too quickly and at times, we may even start to lose interest. At times, we may find that the conversation is going round and round and what had been said is getting repeated over and over again. If this happens, it could be that the person feels she is not explaining enough. Be patient and wait for the pause and then help to summarize it. When she knows that you have understood what she is trying to say, she will tend not to repeat again.

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So there you have it, some of the most basic techniques of being an engaging listener. Simple and yet, many may not be aware of, or have applied in their lives.

Keep at it, apply the above tips and suggestions, and soon you will be reaping in the natural benefits of being a much appreciated listener and help your children to also become one, as a bonus.