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9th September 2007

Helping your children use their Anger (Part 1)

Anger has long been a subject of conflict between parents and children. Anger seems to be natural, and yet it is often so destructive that we are not quite sure what to make of it.

Because children are usually more immature than adults in their expression of emotions, they will often be more physical when experiencing frustration and anger. Tantrums and hitting are fairly common with young children. There are several ways parents can help.

Let me share with you two of those ways today and we will continue to look at some others tomorrow.

1. Set a good example, be their good role model.
No matter how angry you are with him, try not to yell or hit. Rather than getting him to change his behavior, this simply teaches him that verbal and physical aggression is the way to go when he is mad. Instead, set a good example by controlling your temper and calmly pulling him out of the action when he goes too far.

2.Talk it out. Guide them with words to find more effective form of expression
Let your child cool down and then calmly discuss what happened. The best time to do this is after he has settled down but before he forgets the whole thing. Ask if he can explain what triggered his outburst ("Tom, why were you so angry at your brother?"). Explain that it is perfectly natural to get angry sometimes, but it is not okay to react violently. Suggest better ways of dealing with his anger.

Another way to help your child deal with his emotions is to try "time-ins" rather than “time-out”. Whenever your child blows his top, stop what you are doing and ask him to sit down with you and be quiet for a moment. If he will let you, put your arm around him or hold his hand. Then, after a few minutes of peace, briefly discuss what happened and how he might have handled his anger differently. The idea is to teach him to recognize and understand his emotions while considering other options for expressing them.


Tomorrow, we will continue to look at three other ways of helping your child to deal with and control his anger. We want to learn how we can turn their anger into a more positive experience.

See You, and do take good care of yourself

~~ Gloria L~~






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7th September 2007
10th September 2007