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18th September 2007

Being The Role Model Of Love (2)


Two sides of the same coin - No matter what your other side looks like, it is still a part of you.

Be careful not to be dragged into a position where conflicts between any two persons (in this case we are focusing on our family members), may causes you to take sides.
Either way, if you are not careful, someone will get hurt. Hurt, not necessarily in the physical sense, but an emotional hurt is just as harmful in our family body.

Some examples of such scenarios:
* When a child is unable to get his way with one of his parents, he may go to the other to try to obtain an override approval
* Dad may not approve of the way mommy handle a certain situation and shows his disapproval for her method openly before the child
* A child may approach the softer of his parents to try getting support for his way while claiming the other had already given the ok signal
* A child may tell on his brother for every little mistake that was made and try to get his mom to punish his brother.

Remember, as the parent, you are always teaching your child. Be it for good or for bad. As I mentioned in my previous post, our children are watching us. We are at the center of their focus when it comes to being a role model for them. The question is, are we modeling the correct way to handle a situation or the wrong way of doing it.

In the above examples, we see two positions that parents should be aware of and should take.

First, both parents must always try to be in unison with their agreement in any given situation, especially in front of the child. Even when at times, one may seem obviously wrong; they should never show it before the kids. Talk it over without the child around. In the heat of the moment, try to say calmly something like, "Honey, there is something I would like to discuss further with you. Can we go up to our room for a moment to discuss?" Whenever possible, buy time before approving a child's request if you feel your partner may not be in total agreement with it.

Secondly, as a parent looking after two or more children, never take sides when there is a conflict between the children. Even when one is obviously wrong, the position you want to maintain is one of a counselor, not a critic. You want to focus on healing not on judging who is right and who is wrong.

Throughout the above, stay calm in handling the situation. In doing so, you are already modeling the right way in handling conflicting situations to your child.

Until my next post, take good care of each other.

~~Ricky L~~






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15th September 2007
21st September 2007