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15th August 2007
Tearing Down The Wall – The great expectations
Today, we want to start looking at the process of tearing down the wall. The wall that may seems like an impregnable barrier at times, does not have to remain standing between you and your teenage wayward child forever.
Let us start by setting our expectations right, right from the very start.
It would be unreasonable to expect an overnight change that would be lasting. You may see a mini miracle if you promise to get him the concert tickets he has been longing for; but as soon as the music fades so does the good manners. You will see that this kind of change is not only temporary, it is also harmful for your child, and I am not talking about the bad company he may meet at the concert. We will get into more details about this as we move along.
It would be more reasonable to see little steps of improvement in him as we put our effort in daily. I believe that with each appropriate little step you take toward him, it will not be too long before we see positive little responses coming back to you.
We want to see a change in him, but only a change that is from within him, a change that in his very character. Obviously, this change has to be for the better and not otherwise.
We also need to understand that we as parents will need to initiate the putting in of effort into restoring the broken link. We may have been doing just that all this while, but we may not have been doing it in the correct manner. I only started to realize this when I began reading up on my problems with my son. When I read the Dos and Don’ts, I started to see where I had applied all my “effort” in the wrong places.
What I am trying to say is this …. Do not expect the wall to come tumbling down! Although in some instances this may seem like the case, it does not happen all the time.
Yes, the wall will come down all right, but it is most likely to be more like a wall of melting ice. You will start to see the other side of the wall and soon, the wall will have disappeared.
This is especially so if you had been having difficulties communicating with your teenager for a while.
Although instant result is highly unlikely, I want to reassure you at this moment that the time of reconciliation is not too far away.
Stay with me for in my next post, I will be sharing on the first 3 easy steps you can apply immediately (which means it’s time for action & effort), so as to start the process of healing going.
In the meantime, do spent some quiet moments away from your kids and work, to ponder about your expectations of them and of yourself. If there is any area that is out of alignment with what we had talked about above, bring it back inline.
I will be back soon. See Ya !
God Bless
~~ Ricky L ~~
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