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11th August 2007

Experiences Are For Sharing ...

"Relax. He is just going through his rebellious years. He will snap out of it one day. Remember, we all went through the same before, you and I".

I heard this from my well-meaning colleagues and friends whenever I voiced my frustrations about my teenage son's less than desirable behavior. Sounds all too familiar now but tried as I might, I do not seem to recall myself behaving that way when I was a teen.

Although I must admit the thought that he will "snap out of it" did sound comforting, the truth of the matter is that the "RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW" is nowhere near comforting at all. With each attempt to get my message across to him, I felt more and more helpless. Nothing I did seems to improve the rebellious response and I found myself being more and more alienated from him.

There were times when we would get into a yelling match so bad; it felt like the whole world was falling apart. There were times the war of words got so close to being physical, it still feels horrible thinking about it now.

It came to a point when I almost totally gave up hope.

It is not easy to share all these. I guess nobody enjoys recounting his or her bad experiences. Nobody enjoys washing his or her dirty laundry in public, but I thank God for making me finally realize that it does not have to be that way.

Nothing, nobody, including rebellious teenagers, is beyond hope.

I started looking out for ways to turn the situation around. I started observing other families with teenage children to learn what areas they are doing well and in which they are not. In the good areas, I tried to find out what it is that they do to achieve the good results.

I also started reading up parenting books to find out more about the problem of mine.

Here is the good news, things in the house started to change. In fact, it came as a surprise that it did not take as long as I had thought before I started to see results. Believe me, it had seemed impossible to me before and I know that for some reading this right now, you may be feeling the same way, even right now.

Of course, there was (and still is) work to be done but the "work" itself is now a joy.

I am eagerly looking forward to sharing with you in the coming days on what I had learned. My hope is that you will find what I share useful, and that you too will find the same joy as I have, in your family.

God Bless

~~ Ricky L ~~






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9th August 2007
13th August 2007